How to get through a breakup
Step 1: Wash your face
Morning, especially the first one following is the hardest. It’s a time of remembering everything sleep helped you to forget, that is if you managed to sleep at all. If you’re anything like me, the tears will start before your eyes open, the painful ache of heartbreak will weaken your sobbing body under the blankets and it will seem like there’s no position, no ball small or tight enough to help you disappear from the awfulness of the moment.
You will remember something someone said some time ago, something you read online, something you said yourself about the beauty of change and the gorgeous pain of growth and you’ll think, there’s no beauty in this, that person (even if it was you) is a clueless idiot.
The sun will begin to strengthen its shine through your windows as a reminder that the day is moving forward, and the blankets you’re hiding under will get warmer and warmer. You’ll become a sweaty little ball. You’ll stay like that for a while until your hungry cat comes over and starts pawing at the top of your head, and you’ll remember you have responsibilities. You’ll realize how badly you have to pee. You’ll emerge. As you gasp for air you’ll get a whiff of morning breath and remember that you’re the kind of person who brushes their teeth in the morning. You like that about yourself.
You’ll shuffle toward the bathroom first. You’ll cry on the toilet. You’ll brush your teeth. You’ll make your way to the kitchen and feed your cat. Then, an awareness will come. Something about these teeny tiny actions feels like strength. You’ll make yourself a cup of coffee. You’ll call out of work and call in your mom. If she lives nearby she’ll be there within the hour, but if she’s in another state like my mom, she’ll stay on the phone with you while you repeat the same things over and over until you both need a break from hearing them and hang up.
Washing your face amid all that crying might feel like a waste of time and effort, but trust me it’s not. The intention alone is powerful. It signals a willingness to move forward. And moving forward, even if it’s just an inch, is good. It doesn’t mean you're leaving your feelings or relationship behind. It just means you’re willing to walk hand in hand with life. And you should take life’s hand because life loves you. It really does. It is your best friend and ally even when its love is tough and its workload feels daunting. It will lead you to the exact place you’re meant to be if you let it. Life has your very best interests in mind and an endless bank of possibilities it wants to present to you if only you trust it.